When I was a teenager growing up in the 70′s and Graham Nash was proclaiming to song to, “Be Yourself”, I remember thinking, “Yeah, that’s right!” and ended up using that as one of my anthems into adulthood. And, although my version of what that looks like today is probably unrecognizable to the 16 year-old me, the core of the message is still the same – that I be true to myself because, at the end of the day, all that really matters is that I lived my life according to my own inner compass, my own True North.

We can so easily be influenced by what others think of us that it often leaves very little room to genuinely explore and then go after what we really want and what would make us truly happy. The tragedy is that we’re then stuck with a life (read: job, relationship, career, body, home-life, financial situation) that doesn’t fit who we really are and what we could actually have. As Charlie Chaplin noted on his 70th birthday while reflecting back on his life, “anguish and emotional suffering were only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.”

And the warning signs usually first come as a quiet whisper, obviously the best time to catch them and, with practice, really does get easier. Or, if we’re lucky, it’s more like a tap on the shoulder – still not too shabby if you can catch it then. More likely though, for most of us, you might notice it as some very annoying finger-poking in the chest, and, if you’re still not willing to pay attention, a thwack across the head – think major, and often humiliating, take-downs for those in the public eye and, for many of us, the usual high drama of didn’t-see-it-coming flash floods like affairs, pink slips, loss of an important friendship, or, even worse and, in most cases, just a quiet desperation of a life unlived.

The great news is that these circumstances don’t have to be a crisis; rather, it’s life’s way of sending us smoke signals that we’re off-course and just need to re-calibrate. Wake-up calls can be a cold shower and, although unpleasant, nothing more. If we take these signals as a friendly reminder to follow our hearts, no matter what, life has a way of providing all the support we need to take the steps toward creating a life filled with peace, joy, and true contentment.

So, what does being yourself really mean? The first step is recognizing that anything in your life that isn’t going the way you had hoped and planned likely has some hint of inauthenticity in it and lacks the vitality of a rich connection – with yourself and your values.

This is where a real heart-to-heart with yourself can do wonders. One great way to get back on track is to ask yourself, “If I were completely being myself in this situation or dynamic, what would I be doing, seeing, or saying, differently? What beliefs about myself and life would I have to be believing in order to feel alive and connected and getting the results I want? What conversations might I be having with the people I’m closest with?”

Start with where you are, get curious about what’s going on, and trust that the rest will show up as you go along. It was Oscar Wilde who once said, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Do yourself a favor and take his advice because it’s never too late to be the person you could have become!

With love,

Dani

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. But the second best time is today.” ~Chinese proverb

I love this because there are so many things I am doing now, later in life, that I never had the courage to do before when I was younger. And, as a result I am having the time of my life!

If I wanted, I could come up with a million excuses as to why “it’s too late” to live the life of my dreams. For starters, although my spirit is more vibrant and energized than ever before, my body is not! I just don’t have the same ole “bounce-back” I had at 25 as I do now in my late 40′s, and yet, I am not letting that stop me from making choices like moving cross-country to a big city I don’t know, filled with friends I haven’t yet met so that I can live near the beach, surrounded by year-round swaying palms and fruit trees.

Yeah, it would have been great to have moved here 25 years ago and learned to surf and play volleyball in the sand before I developed multiple repetitive stress injuries throughout my well-worn body, but I didn’t so what’s it going to be – lay down and cry or get on with it? Well, I chose the latter and couldn’t be happier.

The above proverb is a reminder that it is never too late to be, do, and have all that life has to offer! There’s no better time than now to live a life you love because yesterday is gone and tomorrow never comes. In the end, what do you have to show for your unlived dreams? Even better, 10 years from now, what kind of memories do you want to be able to look back on?

Try this out: ask yourself, what is one thing you can do today that you wished you had done years ago? Now, start taking the steps to make it happen. It may be as simple as reaching out to someone you’ve been meaning to re-connect with, bringing a camera with you on your outings and take those pictures you’ve been meaning to shoot, getting that story that’s been in your head for ages out onto paper, or take a weekend or a day trip somewhere off the beaten path that leads to some unforeseen adventure.

The sky really is the limit when you decide to take a chance and do something different. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again, expecting different results. If you’re feeling lackluster in your day-to-day life then it’s time to shake things up a little and see what’s available to you from a fresh perspective. But we can’t create something new and fresh from a mind filled with old, stale ideas so start with an open mind and heart and dive in with the courage and curiosity of a child, and see where it takes you. It’s never too late to have what you want!

Since it’s true that if you keep doing what you’ve been doing you’re going to get what you got, then what have you got to lose by doing something you’ve always wanted to do but left it behind and underneath a pile of worn-out excuses?

Have fun playing with this new approach and email me what you notice!

With Love,
Dani

So, not only is Shoot for the Stars the name of my coaching company, it’s what we do together when I coach you! Why would we shoot for anything less? Well, LOTS of reasons – we’re afraid of failing…we’re afraid of succeeding (yes, many of us are afraid of getting what we really want)…we’re just plain afraid of LIVING!

So we end up settling, in so many ways, and, one of the ways we know we’re settling for less is if we’re not fully enjoying and appreciating every moment, regardless of the circumstances (and there will ALWAYS be “circumstances”). When we allow ourselves to really have it all, even when we don’t think we have what we want, our world opens up to all the love and excitement and the joy of living.

The following was said by someone who, in my book, had definite “street cred”: ”Security is mostly a superstition. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.”  ~ Helen Keller - Deaf and Blind Educator, Lecturer, and Author (1880-1968)

How can we deny the power of those words from someone who spent her life unable to speak, see, or hear and yet went on to become a Radcliffe graduate, an anti-war and women’s rights activist, a prolific author, and was inducted into the Women’s Hall of Fame?

“Security” is an illusion – what do you really have to lose by taking risks in life? Rejection? Disappointment? Failure? – if you’re not experiencing these things on a DAILY basis, then you are not really living life! You are playing small and suffering because of it – we can never have what we really want if we don’t risk what we already have.

And, if you are taking risks every day, then you know how great it feels to be out there playing a “Bigger Game” – don’t stop “shooting for the stars”, because, it’s in the “going for it” that we get to experience all of our aliveness and gusto for life - that is the prize!

Try this out: spend the next week asking yourself, each day, “Just for today, what is my ‘daring adventure’?”. It could be that you go out of your way to be kind and generous to everyone you meet. It could be that you register for a class you’ve been thinking about taking, but haven’t. Or, you’re going to take more of a leadership role with projects at work. If you’re someone who doesn’t take enough down time for yourself and tends to spread yourself too thin, stay home more often, cook yourself a healthy and delicious meal and really allow yourself to enjoy your own company. Or, if you tend to go straight home after work, often feeling too tired to go out, take yourself out – or invite a friend – to a museum exhibit, a walk in the park (rain or shine!), or to an event that you’ve always been curious about. Clean out a drawer. Or even just take a right if you usually go left!

If you tend to be an impatient person then try being extra patient with everyone you encounter. If you’ve always wanted to play a musical instrument, but don’t, then start taking lessons and, if you do play one, but haven’t in awhile, then pick it up and start playing! The sky’s the limit to what you can do more of today in order to have more of what you want – just do something that you think about doing but haven’t taken action on.

And, whatever it is you want more of, give more of – if you feel like you want more understanding from your significant other or a co-worker, then go out of your way to be genuinely more understanding of him or her. If you want others to listen to you more, then focus on really listening, with an open heart, to what others are saying to you.

Do this for a week and email me what you noticed. And…don’t forget to have FUN while doing it!

With Love,
Dani